Ten Ways to Spread the Flu

Lexi Vaughan, Writer

7 things you can do to ‘protect’ yourself for the 2018 flu.

Apparently, according to the news, the 2018 flu is deadly, and can even get worse.

Welcome humans, who are curious as to how you can ‘protect’ yourself from the 2018 flu.

I will go into detail and tell of 7 ways how you can totally protect yourself from getting the flu. Maybe after you read all of this, you will take my advice and do everything I say to do. You certainly will be in for a treat! (continue reading below for what to do)

  1. Go in public and kiss/hug everyone you see, someone surely will be sick. With the touch, the persons bacteria they are carrying will surely get to you, and then that should get you sick. Sickness can turn into the flu, depending on how bad it is, and if it gets worse. Go into Wal*mart or the mall, and find someone and just hug them, or kiss them, whichever is fine with you.
  2. Go into a hospital and go into the rooms of sick people and stay there with them. They will cough and maybe even throw up, which should get you sick, if you are close enough, and with them for a long while. The bacteria will get to you, and the bacteria will be floating around in the room, the air you breathe in will have bacteria in it, then the bacteria will get in your system.
  3. Inject yourself with some type of drug that makes you sick. That will go straight into your system, and you will definitely get sick as long as you inject a lot of whatever you choose to inject. It will travel through your bloodstream, and go everywhere in your body, making you sick.
  4. If you are already sort of sick just make yourself more sick. If you are sick, don’t treat yourself with medicine, just do things to make it worse. Don’t go to the doctors, don’t eat healthy, don’t drink water. Play in the dirt, or mud, or something gross and messy, also something bacteria filled. Drink lots of sugar filled, unhealthy drinks. Eat lots of candy, or unhealthy food.
  5. Don’t get your annual flu shot. That way no healthy medicine will be in your body, so then it will be much easier to get the flu. Especially if you skip years of getting the annual flu shot, then good job, a sort of easy way to get the flu.
  6. Never wash your hands. All the bacteria in your hands will definitely somehow get into your system, through your mouth or some area of your body. Your hands will be covered with different bacterias. You should get sick in no time.
  7. Don’t clean your surroundings. Bacteria will cover your surroundings, and fill the air. You will be touching bacteria, and you will be breathing in bacteria. Two things to help you get sick. If you never clean your surroundings. The bacteria is going to build up and get bad, which would make you sick faster. Just make sure that nobody cleans the area when you aren’t around.

Now, since I have informed you of 7 pretty solid ways to get a bad sickness, or the flu, I will now inform you of 3 ways how to get other people very sick, or make them get the flu, whether they want it or not.

So, welcome humans who are quite rude and want other people to get sick.

I will inform you of 3 pretty solid ways as to how you can get other people sick. They are pretty easy ways, so just follow along, and do as I say.

  1. If you have to cough and/or sneeze, do it on people. The bacteria in your germs will get onto their body, and it is pretty likely that it will eventually make its way into their bloodstream, getting them sick with whatever you have.
  2. Sneeze and/or cough in your hand then shake and/or touch someone else. Yes, this is like number one because it has the same context, but it is a bit different. This way you are more likely to get the person sick rather than number one, but they both work. You could do this and number one together, then there you go, a better chance of getting them sick.
  3. Share a drink with them. Your germs will be in the drink, and/or on the straw. They will drink whatever is in the cup, giving them your germs, and if they use the same straw as you, that is a bigger chance that, that will get them sick. Your germs will automatically be in their body, so they should have a bigger chance of getting sick this way. It is a pretty solid way.

So, I have informed of 7 ways to ‘protect yourself from the flu, and 3 ways you can give someone the flu. If you enjoyed these ways, then obviously I did a good job coming up with ways, but if you didn’t enjoy these ways, then maybe you are doing it wrong. These 10 in all ways, will, I guarantee, get you and someone else sick. I hope you enjoyed reading all of this.